[ To be entirely fair, this is news to most of the others, with notable exceptions, but his sister is rather skilled at organizing things properly without making much of a general fuss. It doesn't hurt that there are few dwarves present - or even among those not present - that would challenge her authority. Of course, the usual faces that are getting ready to follow Thorin were obviously ready for this. They're not precisely grim, but neither are they cheerful. No one has good associations with Mirkwood in general.
Thorin did not, in fact, want to tell Bilbo about this, he didn't like to talk about it at all, but he is aware that he should not have put it off for as long as he did. There was never any question as to how Bilbo would react to it, so it was really more about avoiding the conversation for his own selfish sake. It might not have been lying, but he knows it wasn't fair. Ever stubborn, though, he's not ready to openly admit to that just yet, and being this close to actually finding his father has brought up a lot of old, unpleasant emotions that drag his thoughts elsewhere, almost against his will. His thoughts have been lingering here increasingly often, but now guilt and responsibility weigh heavily on him here. He knows they shouldn't. He spent decades searching for Thráin, even when everyone else, even his own kin, had given up hope.
It's not reasonable for him to feel as if he failed his father, but he does.
The tone of Bilbo's voice does a fair job of dragging Thorin's attention back to him. He almost responds with an irritated snap of a reply, but he catches himself harshly before he can give it voice. Instead a look of regret briefly crosses his face, though his mouth is set rather firmly, still. Bilbo is well within his rights to be frustrated with the unfairness of it, and Thorin knows that he should not, cannot, let his personal frustrations and pain cause him to lash out unnecessarily at someone he cares so much for. Especially not when he's so unquestioningly ready to follow Thorin into peril. Again. As annoyed and frustrated as he might be right now, that loyalty doesn't waver.
An apology is there, somewhere, though he hasn't gotten so far as to put words to it yet. The tense set to his shoulders - really only discernible from his usual sternness by those familiar with the subtleties of his stances - does soften fractionally, just for a moment, if just to be replaced by something more subtle and painful. ]
My grandfather and my brother will never rest below Erebor, as they should have. If my father is dead, I would still bring him home.
[ He knows that he doesn't have to explain this to Bilbo, as if he needs to justify himself. It's not about that. ]
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Thorin did not, in fact, want to tell Bilbo about this, he didn't like to talk about it at all, but he is aware that he should not have put it off for as long as he did. There was never any question as to how Bilbo would react to it, so it was really more about avoiding the conversation for his own selfish sake. It might not have been lying, but he knows it wasn't fair. Ever stubborn, though, he's not ready to openly admit to that just yet, and being this close to actually finding his father has brought up a lot of old, unpleasant emotions that drag his thoughts elsewhere, almost against his will. His thoughts have been lingering here increasingly often, but now guilt and responsibility weigh heavily on him here. He knows they shouldn't. He spent decades searching for Thráin, even when everyone else, even his own kin, had given up hope.
It's not reasonable for him to feel as if he failed his father, but he does.
The tone of Bilbo's voice does a fair job of dragging Thorin's attention back to him. He almost responds with an irritated snap of a reply, but he catches himself harshly before he can give it voice. Instead a look of regret briefly crosses his face, though his mouth is set rather firmly, still. Bilbo is well within his rights to be frustrated with the unfairness of it, and Thorin knows that he should not, cannot, let his personal frustrations and pain cause him to lash out unnecessarily at someone he cares so much for. Especially not when he's so unquestioningly ready to follow Thorin into peril. Again. As annoyed and frustrated as he might be right now, that loyalty doesn't waver.
An apology is there, somewhere, though he hasn't gotten so far as to put words to it yet. The tense set to his shoulders - really only discernible from his usual sternness by those familiar with the subtleties of his stances - does soften fractionally, just for a moment, if just to be replaced by something more subtle and painful. ]
My grandfather and my brother will never rest below Erebor, as they should have. If my father is dead, I would still bring him home.
[ He knows that he doesn't have to explain this to Bilbo, as if he needs to justify himself. It's not about that. ]